Practitioner’s statement – “Swallow me, Decay”
My artwork titled “Swallow me, Decay”, size 75Cm X 55cm, is focused on depicting decay, and the deterioration of one’s relationships and sense of self. Inspired heavily by present issues in my life. This work is meaningful to me as an exploration of my emotions in a visual manner. After being cut off from my childhood friends, I was forced, not only to grieve our relationship, but the image of myself that was tied to them and consider what kind of person I really wanted to be. My artwork explores this, in two parts, first, with the initial damage, red hot pain, in the angry jaws of anxious and depressive symptoms. These are seen represented through expression and colour, most poignantly the black of the background and red throughout.
The use of this oil pastel in the background is linked to my investigation of William Utermohlen’s work, the way that it had been consumed by similar darkness over the years. Just as this poor man was engulfed by his illness, I was in mine. It became difficult to function in a healthy way, issues such as lack of appetite and energy are represented in my second part of the artwork as my figure is more heavily distorted with physical exaggerations of these problems. The second piece in this diptych is inverted to contrast the first, the colours used represent the second part of this experience; the grieving process are shown in red. I used blue in the cracks to emphasise the internal struggle. These markings are also some of the only solid bold colours on the page, making them some of the most eye-catching elements. Blue and red may be considered some of the most emotive colours. Both can have positive or negative connotations, depending on how they are used, in the context of my piece, red becomes the lifeblood, and blue becomes internal pain and struggle.
Another strong artistic influence in the development of this work, is Valerie Hegarty, who has inspired the use of physical distressing imagery, and three-dimensional elements. Hegarty’s works are often torn back or decayed by the elements, which is something I tried to replicate in a more controlled manner. The use of my three-dimensional elements, the drip effect, gives the piece a greater interest and greater depth to my illustrated decay markings, pulling them in and bringing the piece to life.
